Friday, November 5, 2010

Imaginary?

It began to rain. Everyone in town retreated to their homes. I sat in a old coffee house drinking a cup of hot cocoa. The town was lifeless. I gazed out the window. There was an old man who sat hunched underneath the overhang of the town's pub across the street from me. He carried softly in his creased hand a cigarette. His eyes exposed a shade of yellow stain like a dandelion would after being rubbed on your hand. The stiff white mustache that hung just below the man's nose, stood like an old brittle broom. A dull green hat draped over the man's head. His wrinkles portrayed the look of a new born pug. The scruff that clung to his chin are prickles of a cactus flower. The gazed look he carried seemed mysterious. His eyes seemed glazed, as if he wasn't there at all. His cheeks plumped outwards like the shape of a pear. The crease below the man's lower lip was a defined black ink line. He hunched over in the shape of a "C," he looked cold.
"Can I get you anything else?" The waitress asked.
I turned my head to look at her, "No thank you, it was delicious." When i brought my eyes back to the man, he was gone.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

University of ________________

Why should we choose you?
Provide a well thought out essay given in the space below.


Dear whomever this may concern,

I am ingenius, effecacious, and vigorus. I have single handedly taken the time out of my assiduous life to bring forward to you today, this application. The question isn't why do I wish to attend this excellent university you offer but, what can I do to create your university the best any university has ever seen. My answer, easy.

I have seen every James Bond movie ever made. I have taken part in the largest twister game ever played. I have surfed and snowboarded in the same day. At the age of 3 I was able to make my own Kraft Dinner. Not only that, but I created the term, "That's what she said." I watch T.V in 3D. I am the founder of facebook. Emeniem is my best friend.

I am Chey Gannon.

I have no daily routines. Genius book of world records presented me a award for the largest tiramisu ever made. My goldfish is 47.7 cm long, my hair was in a Head and Shoulders commercial, my bank savings have transcended Canada Trust Bank. I have purchased Staples Business Depots around the globe. My persuading personality only contributed to the Queen of England to willingly allow Winnipeggers to be welcomed into there homes, naked and with the blinds up. I have bathed in India during the winter. I have publicly announced, "Oh boy!" in Georgia. I have drank with a fish in Oklahoma. I have plowed cotton fields with an elephant. I hate shepherds pie. I once found five dollars.

I am Chey Gannon.

I am driven, dominant, and convivial. To answer the question posted above, the answer has never been easier.

Your university needs me.


Sincerely,
Chey Gannon